Breakups suck! Sorry, I know that may sound a little crude but for anyone who has gone through the pain of losing someone they care about deeply you know what I mean. Many times after a breakup people will ask, “Can I get back with my ex lover?”
The real questions you need to be asking are: “Should I get back with my ex” and “Do I really want to get back with my ex?”
If you allow yourself a little time and space and honestly give some thought to these two questions you might be surprised by the answers.
It’s rare in a relationship where someone breaks up with no warning. What is more common is that one person is becoming dissatisfied with the relationship and the other person is ignoring all the warning signs.
Things like not spending as much time together, being quiet, not being as interested in physical contact could all be signs that the relationship is in trouble.
It’s als0 unusual for one person to be totally happy and the other to be miserable. Whatever is happening in the relationship is affecting both people and both people should be able to notice, that is unless one is in a state of denial.
Once you have a little distance you need to honestly evaluate the relationship and only after you’ve done that and decided that there is something there to salvage should you try to get back together with your ex.
If you decide you want to try again there are a few things you can do. To a degree what you do will depend on whether or not you’re the one who did the breaking up.
If you were the one who was broken up with you have to be very careful how you approach your ex. No one likes a whiny, needy person. If you try to contact your ex make sure that you are happy and upbeat. Be the same person they fell in love with in the first place.
If you are the one who did the breaking up you will have to explain honestly why you decided to end the relationship and convince your ex that you’re sure you want to be together. No on will want to get back into a relationship if they are afraid you’ll just break up with them again in the near future.
The question, “Can I get back with my ex lover?” will depend greatly on why you broke up and how good you are at communicating what you want.