How Soon is Too Soon or Not Soon Enough?
Inevitably, when you are part of the dating world, you will need to face the question of just how soon you should let things move to a more physically intimate level. This is just a gentle and polite way of saying you will need to decide when the time is right to have sex. While this should be a rather simple thing to figure out, especially for adults, it can actually be a bit tricky.
First of all, even when you’re well past the age of consent and, possibly, heading into early middle age, there’s still a right time and a wrong time to move forward sexually. It really doesn’t matter how enlightened people in the 21st century think they are, men still have a certain way of viewing a woman who will jump right into bed with them, no questions asked. If this describes you, don’t be too surprised if a lot of guys are not calling you back. When you allow yourself to be used in this fashion, chances are you’re giving in MUCH too soon and these guys are just having a quick release with you.
This brings us to the First Date Rule. Agreeing to sex on the first date is a huge no-no. The only way that this is acceptable and probably not damaging to the budding relationship and your reputation is if the man is someone you’ve known for a very long time and friendship has transitioned into romance. In all other instances, the first date is completely too soon for such intimacy. Kiss all you want, but keep it on simmer.
Are you hoping to find that the second date is a more acceptable time frame to have sex for the first time with someone new? You should hear the Second Date Rule if you truly believe that. The second date is also too soon to hop into bed. Keep in mind that this is particularly true if you’re just getting to know someone new. Two dates is not enough time to know someone THAT well.
While many people seem to adhere to the Third Date Rule, that may still be a bit too soon if you really want this to turn into something wonderful. Too many people tend to do things backwards in relationships. For example, they meet at a bar or a party or wherever, spend some time drinking and talking, head back to his place or hers, and then have sex. Most of the time, they don’t even know each other’s last names. Also, these encounters typically turn into one night stands, which are never favorable when it comes to having a true relationship.
If a real relationship is what you’re trying to find, give it some time before you give into your hormonal desires. Let the connection between the two of you grow and take time to really get to know each other. No, it doesn’t have to be YEARS, but at least give it time to feel 100 percent right in every way. There’s much more of a chance for a successful relationship then.